QI (F series)
QI Series F |
Country of origin |
United Kingdom |
No. of episodes |
12 |
Broadcast |
Original channel |
BBC |
Original run |
14 November 2008 – 20/21 March 2009 |
Series chronology |
|
This is a list of episodes of QI, the BBC comedy panel game television program hosted by Stephen Fry. Series F was the first series to broadcast originally on BBC One, starting on 9 January 2009,[1] with the exception of two episodes: one made for Children in Need, which was broadcast on BBC Two on 14 November 2008, and a Christmas special, transmitted on 22 December 2008 on BBC One.
The rest of the series began on 9 January 2009 on BBC One, with an extended version of the show (known as QI XL) shown on BBC Two the following day.
Episodes
Whereas the previous series had seen only two new guests, series F featured new guests in most of the episodes. They were; Pam Ayres, Marcus Brigstocke, Hugh Dennis, Reginald D. Hunter, Dom Joly, Ben Miller, John Sergeant, Emma Thompson and Sir Terry Wogan. Wogan was the first guest in the show's history to have previously received a knighthood.
Originally, the main bonus of the series, following on from the "E" Series' "Elephant in the Room" was to be the "Fanfare", where if any of the panelists said something particularly interesting a fanfare would sound. In the end, this only appeared in the final episode when David Mitchell was talking about French and Russian dinner service. It was styled as the "Teacher's Pet" prize. The only other time it was mentioned was in the extended version of "the Future" episode, when Stephen says that if any of the panelists knew the answer "I'll reward you with 2 fanfares".
The Children in Need special was the last edition of QI to be originally transmitted on BBC Two. All the others were shown on BBC One, starting with the Christmas special on 22 December 2008, with the series proper commencing on 9 January 2009. This transfer of networks also brought about the broadcasting of extended versions – called 'QI XL' – on BBC Two the following day (as per Have I Got News for You since 2007). This was the first series of QI not to be produced by John Lloyd. The role was taken by Piers Fletcher.
This series was the first to be broadcast in Australia, with the "Flotsam and Jetsam" episode being broadcast on 20 October 2009 on ABC1.[2]
Episode 1 "Families" (Children in Need special)
- Broadcast date
- Recording date
- Panellists
- Buzzers
- Theme
- The show initially began with Pudsey Bear, the Children in Need mascot, in the place of Terry Wogan, but Pudsey was ousted from his chair after the introductions were given.
- Topics
- Tangent: Other ones included "cheese gives you bad dreams", "a crow follows a busy squirrel" and "eating your crusts puts hairs on your chest".
- Tangent: Terry's grandmother used to say that "Love flies out the window when poverty walks in the door", and "It doesn't matter whether you rich or whether you are poor, as long as you have money".
- Tangent: In the 18th century, 75% of all children died before they were five years old. 90% of all children born in workhouses died before they were five years old.
- Tangent: Terry claims that while the last Children in Need raised around £35 million, in order to make a real difference, the charity appeal would need to raise £150 million.
- Tangent: 3 million Jelly Babies are eaten every week. The powdery substance on the Jelly Babies is starch, used to get the jelly out of the mould.
- Tangent: Ann Widdecombe once said, "Hungry? I'd eat a baby's arse through a wickerwork chair".
- Contrary to popular belief, a mother does not create a bond with her newborn baby by keeping in close proximity to the infant after birth. It is only able to recognize it's mother and begin bonding three weeks after birth.
- Tangent: In the days immediately following birth, an infant is unable to distinguish the cries of its mother from the cries of a rhesus monkey.
- Tangent: It's believed that 90% of attention you receive in your lifetime, is received under the age of 3.
- Tangent: The line, "Me Tarzan, you Jane", was never spoken in any of the Tarzan films.
- Tangent: The song itself only scored three points and the entry was second last overall. The winning song was Waterloo by ABBA.
- Tangent: Salazar, the dictator of Portugal, suffered a stroke in 1968, a new Prime Minister, Marcelo Caetano, was made to replace him, but Salazar did not know anything about it and was tricked into thinking he was still ruling the country at the time of his death. He also declared three days of national mourning when Adolf Hitler died.
- Tangent: You do not have to have lived in a country in order to represent it in the Eurovision Song Contest. It is a contest for songwriters of particular nationalities rather than the singers themselves.
- Tangent: The French criticized their own song in this year's contest, Divine, by Sébastien Tellier, because it was sung in English.
- General Ignorance
- The family in The Swiss Family Robinson, by Johann David Wyss, have no surname (forfeit: Robinson). It was misconstrued as the original title was "Swiss Robinson Crusoe Family", which was translated to Swiss Family Robinson by William Godwin. A third of all film and television adaptations based on the book give the family surname as "Robinson".
- A boomerang that won't come back is a "Kylie" (forfeit: a stick). Throwing sticks that come back and do not come back are both used by Aborigines to drive birds towards nets, not to kill the birds.
- As discussed in Series A, the word "Kangaroo" comes from the Guugu Yimithirr language (forfeit: Aboriginal for "I don't know"). English explorers then used the word to people who spoke other languages who did not know what they were talking about.
- Bertrand Russell proved that 1 + 1 = 2 using symbolic logic. Russell wrote about this in his book Principia Mathematica after set theory gave rise to several paradoxes, causing fears that nothing could be proved and that some of the great questions could never be answered.
- Tangent: Russell was said to have had very bad breath and to have been bad at mental arithmetic.
- Other
In discussing old wives tales, David Mitchell is censored while saying "wanking" and then "wankers", which is not normally done on post-watershed broadcasts in Britain. One possible reason could be in the context of airing the episode as part of a broadcasting event traditionally aimed at a family audience, even though QI itself was broadcast in the usual time slot. (The sound effect used to cover up the words is not the usual bleep but a quacking sound, indicating that it may be removed from repeat screenings and the DVD release). Interestingly, later in the episode, he plainly uses the word "shit" without censorship.
Episode 2 "Fire & Freezing" (Christmas special)
- Broadcast date
- Recording date
- Panellists
- Buzzers
- Theme
- The panel are all dressed in winter clothing such as scarves and woolly hats.
- Topics
- In Native American smoke signals, one puff usually meant "Hello" and two puffs usually meant "All's well". However, the meaning of signals did differ from place to place.
- Tangent: Wet straw is used to make the smoke black in the Vatican whenever a new Pope has not been elected.
- Tangent: For centuries in Britain, the signals used in case of invasion were flaming beacons.
- Communicating with paper fans came about in the 19th century in France. A booklet was made of signals that users could make to each other – which was probably designed to increase fan sales. Fans were invented in China, and were brought into Europe via Italy by Marco Polo.
- Tangent: To swing the fan around means, "I love another", and closing the fan slowly means, "I promise to marry you".
- The main reason why there are fewer poles nowadays is because most modern fire stations are built with just one floor, so no pole is needed. (forfeit: health and safety gone mad).
- Tangent: The fire brigade was invented by insurance companies, everyone who bought fire insurance was given a plaque they put up outside their house and firemen were only allowed to put out houses on fire if they had a plaque.
- Tangent: Smoke tends to kill people before the fire does, This is because smoke makes it harder to breathe.
- Tangent: When striking a match, always strike it away from you, otherwise the flash point will come towards you and might cause you to catch fire.
- Tangent: A popular expression in Australia is, "I wouldn't piss up his arse if his kidneys were on fire."
- "Fire eaters lung" is the condition caused when fire eaters inhale the flames. Fire-eating can cause terrible damage to the mouth, they hold toxic lighter fluid in their mouths so they can spit into the fire.
- During the Second World War, there was a plan to make an aircraft carrier from substance made from ice and sawdust called "Pykrete", as it is a stronger material than steel and does not melt. The proposed ship would have had guns on it that would fire super-cooled water to immobilise the enemy, and could be repaired using seawater, but the ship was never made because of the Normandy Landings.
Lord Louis Mountbatten convinced Winston Churchill to make a pykrete aircraft carrier after he threw some in Churchill's bath and showed him that it did not melt in his hot bath water.
- The original Twelve Days of Christmas, does not contain the famous theme "Five gooold rings". Frederic Austin changed the normal line to the elongated version sang today, this version of the line is still under copyright by Novello & Co. (Forfeit: "Five goooold rings" (when the panellists were asked about everyone's favourite part of the traditional song))
- Tangent: Stephen talks about the game "In my trunk".
- General Ignorance
- When you blow out a candle, there is a drop in temperature that causes the fire to go out. Fire needs three things to work: oxygen, heat and fuel. Trick candles use a wick that is made out of a material which burns at a low temperature, this is the reason they are hard to blow out.
- Tangent: Rob comes from Port Talbot in Wales, the same town as Richard Burton, Anthony Hopkins and Michael Sheen. Rob's father and Anthony Hopkins grew up in the same street.
- Yes or no: "You know how sometimes it can be too cold to snow?" The answer is no (forfeit: yes). While it is true that you need some moisture in the air to snow and that there is less moisture when it is very cold, snow can not fall because it's too cold.
- Tangent: Snow has been recorded at −41° and −50° Celsius.
- Tangent: −40° Celsius and −40° Fahrenheit are the same. This is the point where the two scales meet.
Episode 3 "Flotsam & Jetsam"
- Broadcast date
- Recording date
- Panellists
- Buzzers
- Topics
- Each of the team is given a nautical flag.
- Charlie: R for Romeo – "The way is off my ship".
- Andy: Z for Zulu – "I require a tug".
- Rob: J for Juliet – "I am on fire" or "I am leaking".
- Alan: D for Delta – "Keep clear of me; I am manoeuvring with difficulty".
- Stephen: U for Uniform – "You are running into danger".
Other flags include O for Oscar, which means man overboard, N for November, which means no and F for Foxtrot which means "I am disabled; communicate with me".
- Tangent: When Andy was on The News Quiz, with a person who did sign language who signed Bill Clinton by undoing his zip.
- Tangent: Stephen was in America, where he claimed they use a crooked index finger to represent the letter R.
- There are four classes of maritime wreckage according to the act created in 1995. The difference between Flotsam and jetsam is that flotsam is wreckage from a shipwreck and jetsam is purposely jettisoned thrown off a boat. Lagan is cargo at the bottom of the sea often marked by a buoy that can be retrieved later, but derelict can't be retrieved.
- According to his autobiography, "Boy Wonder: My Life In Tights", Burt Ward (who played Robin in the Batman TV series) claimed he had sex with his fan girls which he called "the Ultimate Autograph, signed with Bat-Sperm" and that his co-star Adam West watched. Stephen misunderstands this and at first and says he signed autographs in his own sperm.
- Tangent: Rob says that stories of odd sexual encounters are more common and acceptable in showbiz. This leads Charlie to joke that there was a lot of sex in Dad's Army.
- Tangent: Alan, who regularly goes diving, claims that at night all the ugly fish come out, mainly because they do not need to be pretty when it is dark.
- Tangent: Pope Stephen VI dug up the body of his predecessor Pope Formosus and put it on trial, with people moving his arms around and a ventriloquist was used to make him speak to deny his charges. He had his fingers that he used for papal blessings cut off from his skeleton and was to be reburied in a common grave. But after Stephen was deposed, imprisoned and strangled, his successor Pope John IX rescued Formosus' body from the common grave and reburied it in a papal grave.
- General Ignorance
- It is officially unknown who invented rugby football. (forfeit: William Webb Ellis) William Webb Ellis died three years after the story of him running with the football was first told and Football hadn't been codified until after rugby had been invented.
- Tangent: In the original football rules, outfield players as well as the goalkeepers were allowed to catch the ball.
- Tangent: Alan and Rob comment that photos of sporting teams are odd, in that Victorian ones show the team relaxed, whilst today they all stand in rigid rows. They comment that you would expect it to be the other way round.
- Tangent: When Sean Connery applied for the part of James Bond in the films, Ian Fleming and the producers said that he "walked like a panther".
- Tangent: The difference between a walk and a gait.
- Tangent: Alan and Stephen comment that Mick Jagger and Ian McShane are arse-less.
- A description of the maximum number of folds a sheet of paper can sustain is given by the following (mathematics of paper folding). The formula was discovered by a girl called Britney Gallivan who, demonstrating its application, folded a sheet of long toilet roll 12 times. (Forfeits: 7, 8)
-
-
- W is the width and L is the length needed to be able to fold a paper of thickness t a number of n times.
- Tangent: Brief discussion about the film, The Queen.
- Tangent: When David Walliams and his mother met the Queen and the Duke of Edinburgh after he swam the English Channel.
- QI XL Extras
- Tangent: During the Battle of Trafalgar in 1805, Lord Nelson asked for the signal "Nelson confides that every man should do his duty", but "Nelson" and "confides" weren't flags, but "England" and "expects" were, so it became "England expects that every man should do his duty".
- Tangent: Andy went to a Scout Jamboree in Sweden, where there were American Scouts.
- Tangent: Officially the Union Jack is only called the "Union Jack" if it's flying from a boat. Otherwise, it's called the Union Flag. The only U.S. state with a Union Jack in its flag is Hawaii.
- Tangent: Finding a piece of shipwrecked wreckage results in a fine of £2,500 plus twice the value of it to the owner of the ship.
- Tangent: Alan tells about filming on Jonathan Creek at an estate full of pheasants.
- Tangent: In Australia, dead kangaroos are often found at the roadside because they try and drink water gathered on the side of the roads.
- Tangent: Lightning goes up and down.
- The Northern Lights have been recorded as far south as Rome in the 1850s, mainly because of the radiation that come from the solar winds. The Southern Lights are known as the "Aurora Australis".
- Tangent: Alan was in Ayers Rock when he was caught up in a storm in a helicopter. Rob was also stuck on a light aircraft during a storm in Sydney.
- General Ignorance
- Tangent: Northamptonshire would also be doubly landlocked if it didn't have a 19 yard border with Lincolnshire.
- (Buckinghamshire also fulfills this phenomenon but is not mentioned.)
Episode 4 "Fight or Flight"
- Broadcast date
- Recording date
- Panellists
- Buzzers
- Pam, Johnny & Sean – War plane machine guns
- Alan – Plane crash landing
- Theme
- As part of the "Fight or Flight" theme, some of the panellists wore flying clothing. The buzzers were operated by joysticks.
- Topics
- Most footage of skydiving seems to show that the parachute lifts the parachutist upward when deployed. This is an optical illusion caused by the cameraman filming the parachutist falling faster, so his subject appears to be going up relative to him.
- Tangent: The world record for the highest skydive is 32,000 metres (19.88 mi). He achieved a speed of 614 miles per hour.
- Tangent: Both Alan and Pam have been parachuting, but Pam's was static whilst Alan's was freefall. Alan's jump was at 12,000 feet.
- Tangent: Pam was a WAAF in Singapore and Germany during the 1960s, she says why it is useful if there is a cricket pitch on an aerial photo.
- Tangent: Flying fish is the staple diet of the Tao people of Orchid Island, near Taiwan.
- The opposite of the flying fish is a 'swimming bird', a Penguin. Swimming and flying are essentially the same, because it uses the same muscles and principles.
- Women hold all the British records for the largest fish caught. There is a myth that was generated that the reason for this is that female pubic hair attract fish because they give off pheromones, but humans actually don't give off pheromones.
- A bear would always win a fight against a lion as the lion's skull, although very muscular, it is thin and not very strong, so the bear could crush the skull. This was proven by a man who brought a lion and a bear to California during the Gold Rush to entertaining the prospectors and miners. They also had bears fighting against various other animals such as bulls and even an African lion, the bear won every time. (Forfeit: lions (would win the fight))
- Tangent: Pam's father was a boxer who took a horseshoe everywhere with him as he was superstitious.
- It is easier to kill people wearing boxing gloves, than it is without. Bare-knuckled boxers aimed for their opponents chest and torso because they would hurt themselves if they hit the face, and wearing gloves removes this risk.
- Tangent: Only two people were ever recorded dying from bare-knuckle boxing related injuries whereas four people every year die of gloved boxing injuries in the United States alone.
- Tangent: Alan Minter once famously said, "Sure, there have been injuries and deaths in boxing, but none of them serious."
- Vikings, including Flóki Vilgerðarson, used ravens to find nearby land while at sea. If there was land nearby, it would fly straight toward it. If there was no land to be seen, it would land back on the boat, but because they can't land on water. Vilgerðarson, who is also known as "Raven Flóki" discovered Iceland using this method.
- Rockets accelerate best horizontally (forfeit: downwards), as their weight is not over the thruster.
- Tangent: Radical feminists claimed that missiles were deliberately shaped like penises as a symbol of typical male aggression.
- General Ignorance
- Tangent: Bearskins are made out of real bearskin. There have been failed attempts to make them out of other materials.
- Tangent: You can tell which member of the Guards a soldier is in by the spacing of the buttons.
- Tangent: A scandal in the 1950s about a backbench MP who was caught in St. James's Park having sex with a Guardsman. When Churchill – Prime Minister at the time – was told it was one of the coldest February nights in 30 years he said, "Makes you proud to be British."
- QI XL Extras
- Tangent: Muhammad Ali would win a fight against Bruce Lee because he had a superior height and weight advantage and his punches are much faster and more frequent than Lee's kicks.
- Tangent: The 2 boxers in the boxing glove question are James J. Jeffries and Jack Johnson. Jeffries retired, so Johnson, known as "The Galveston Giant", became the first black heavyweight champion of the world, which wasn't liked much during the racist times. Jeffries came out of retirement to fight Johnson, hoping to "prove that a white man will always be better than a black man", but he was soundly beaten. Johnson later opened a nightclub in Harlem.
- Tangent: A film was made about him, and in it, he married a white woman, but he went to another U.S. state, where a black person wasn't allowed to be with a white person.
- The panellists are shown a clip of a shadow of a bird with a short head and a long tail going one way and then the clip is wound back to make it look like a bird with a long neck and a short tail is seen and are asked which would scare a duckling more. Ducklings can recognise fear of shapes as soon as they're born. The first bird would frighten it, because it would look like a hawk, but not the second one, which looks like a goose that doesn't attack.
- Tangent: A hawk would probably beat a goose in a fight, but geese can frighten nearly everything away. Alan once saw a swan chase a goose in Clissold Park which frightened many of the visitors away.
- In 1871, during the Siege of Paris, the zoo was raided so that the Parisians could eat the animals on display there. Over one million communications were made that day by carrier pigeon and balloon messaging.
- Tangent: Stephen comments that Johnny, who has been wearing his leather flying helmet throughout the show, looks like the pigeon from the cartoon series Wacky Races. Johnny then claims he had a dream in which he teaches his family to fly by holding their arms out and running off cliffs. This leads to a strange conversation about Stephen thinking that Johnny might be gay and Johnny's pre-op boyfriend.
- Tangent: Alan reveals the times he bought a massive rocket for Guy Fawkes Night and when a nest of ducklings were on his roof .
- Tangent: Johnny asks if a duckling would be scared of a missile. Sean claims it would because they are scared of noises such as clapping. Johnny thinks it would be better to show the ducklings a DVD of When the Wind Blows.
- General Ignorance
- Armoured knights during the Middle Ages mounted their horses normally (forfeit: winch). They never used winches because the armour weighed less compared to today's armour – those who wear it do need a winch. The idea of a winch being used was invented by Mark Twain in the 19th century.
- Other
Pam's score was not read out on the show. However, according to comments made by the show's producer Piers "Flash" Fletcher on QI's web forum, she scored 8 points.
Episode 5 "France"
- Broadcast date
- Recording date
- Panellists
- Buzzers
- Theme
- As part of the "France" theme, every panellist wore a beret and a garland of onions around their necks. A re-arrangement of the theme tune featured an accordion. The top of the set is lit in the colours of the tricolour.
- At the start of the show, Stephen says he will award bonus points to anyone who can answer him in French.
- Topics
- Tangent: Alan loses five points at the start for saying "mon tête" when talking about removing his onions from around his neck. The word Head is feminine in French, so it should be "ma tête". In French, the word "vagina" is masculine.
- Stephen asks Alan: "Donne-moi un mot, s'il vous plait, un mot pour un mammifère marin qui ne peut avaler aucun plus grand qu'un pamplemousse ?" The question translates as, "Name a marine animal that couldn't swallow [anything] bigger than a grapefruit?" The answer is the Blue Whale.
- In Gascony in south of Bordeaux, shepherds stood on stilts to see further on ground that is not solid
- Tangent: Today, the people of Les Landes dance on their stilts.
- Tangent: One French shepherd walked all the way to Paris on stilts and he climbed the Eiffel Tower on them, and then walked to Moscow on them in 58 days.
- Right up to the 19th century, people in the French countryside hibernated, although their body temperature didn't drop like other animals that do hibernate.
- Tangent: Jo asked a man in the Aran Islands, near Galway, what he did during the winter. He said, "Fishing and fisting".
- Tangent: Hugh jokes that the difference between a French kiss and a Belgian kiss is that the Belgian kiss has more phlegm
- French people often use English words but with a slightly different meaning. "un people" means "celebrity", "un brushing" means "blow-dry", "un relooking" means "makeover" and "vaseliner" means "to flatter" (derived from the phrase "to butter someone up"). The Académie française does not include English words in French dictionaries.
- Tangent: The French language has only a quarter of the words that English does.
- Tangent: A photo is shown of an Englishman and a Frenchman in stereotypical dress. Phill claims that the Frenchman looks more like Arthur Daley. The Frenchman appears to have been holding a cigarette but has dropped it. Stephen claims it might have been removed due to people's views on smoking. Jo claims that's the only advert she would do for smoking.
- Tangent: Hugh claims the first thing French doctors give patients is a suppository, regardless of condition.
- France has one of the best military records by country, and they have taken part in more wars than any other country in the world. Out of 168 battles fought since 387 BC, France has won 109, lost 49 and drawn 10.
- Tangent: Groundskeeper Willie in The Simpsons coined the phrase "Cheese-eating surrender monkeys"
- Tangent: The aggressive Frenchman in the photograph accompanying the question is the wrestler André the Giant, who also starred in the film The Princess Bride.
- Tangent: With his glasses and beret, Stephen looks like Benny Hill.
- Tangent: A Google bomb resulted that searching for "French military victories" meant it came back with the response, "Did you mean 'French military defeats'?".
- General Ignorance
- The Romans did indeed wear togas, but disliked having to as they were difficult to put on. (forfeit: togas). Augustus passed a law ordering people to wear togas in the Roman Forum. Their favourite item of clothing was the sandal.
- Tangent: 'toga candida', the term for a white toga, is where the word "Candidate" came from, because they were worn by Romans running in an election.
- Tangent: Alan once hosted a toga party, where the guests wore sheets instead of proper togas. Alan's friend Danny wore a pink sheet with the words "Pontin's Holidays" embroidered on it.
- Racing cyclists shave their legs is because it is easier to clean wounds, sticking plasters stick better and come off less painfully, calves are massaged better and it makes them look better. (forfeit: aerodynamics).
- Tangent: In 2003, Austrian cyclist René Haselbacher tore his shorts and it was revealed he shaved all over, except for his facial hair.
- Tangent: Swimmers travel 2% faster when they have shaved.
- Tangent: Hugh once took part in a stage of the Tour de France. It took him eleven hours to complete the stage and nine hours to catch up with a man with one leg.
- Most Spaniards do not lisp when they speak. It is actually a feature of pronunciation in the Castilian dialect to distinguish the two phonemes /θ/ and /s/. (Forfeit: to avoid embarrassing the King – a myth claims that the /θ/ in Spanish came from people emulating a king with a lisp so as not to offend him)
- Tangent: Some dialects only have the /θ/ sound and not the /s/, (ceceo) and this is considered bumpkinish by other Spaniards.
- Tangent: Arnold Schwarzeneggers denied request to voice himself in the German dub of The Terminator
- The man who won the Battle of Hastings was called by people at the time as Guillaume le Bâtard – William the Bastard (forfeit: William the Conqueror). The name "William" did not exist at the time so the French mostly called him Guillaume, an early version of the name, Wilgelm, appears on the Bayeux Tapestry. The English referred to him as "The Bastard" (it was not rude to do so). One in every seven men in England was called "William" within 50 years of the invasion.
- Tangent:All Saxon names disappeared about 50 years after the Norman Conquest.
- QI XL Extras
- Tangent: Alan and Phill talk about the shepherds using dogs on stilts. This goes on to talking about smaller dogs mounting bigger ones, to which Phill claims it would probably be easier for them to mount buses.
- Tangent: Alan says that the show is not representing the French accurately. He points out he is being more accurate because he is wearing ladies knickers. Phill claims that they look more like the case of The Wild Geese. The panel then reference several war films, with Alan performing The Dam Busters march and Hugh doing his impersonation of Flight Lt. Colin Blythe from The Great Escape. Jo instead references Mary Poppins in a rude manner, leading into a description of a pornographic version of the film.
- Tangent: In 1919, a pilot called Charles Godefroy flew his biplane through the Arc de Triomphe to commemorate all the airmen who died in World War I
- Tangent: At this point Alan pulled out his "Elephant in the Room" card from the last series, to Stephen's surprise. Even though the bonus had expired, Stephen still decided to give Alan 10 points.
- At the time that the impressionist movement was founded, nearly everyone thought their paintings were "horrific, unfinished, non-sensical, drivel, artless and valueless." Impressionism was inspired by Japanese artworks brought to Europe in the 1850s.
- Tangent: the word "impressionist" was used as an insult by a critic.
- Tangent: Vincent van Gogh had a massive collection of Japanese prints.
- Tangent: As Stephen talks about the Impressionists, Alan messes around with his beret.
- Tangent: Hugh's visit to the Galerie nationale du Jeu de Paume after finishing his A-Levels
- Tangent: Alan tells a story about his art teacher, Mr. Bradshaw.
- Tangent: William Hogarth, who is only being famous for his roundabout on the A4.
- Tangent: One of Stephen's friends was at a dinner party with Anthony Burgess and said "What do you think of Jean Genet?" and he replied "Masturbator and excremental narcissist."
- The thing that comes from Paris, has short legs, a big head, wears a permanent grin and refuses to act its age is the axolotl (forfeit: Nicolas Sarkozy). Originally, it comes from Mexico, they only metamorph into a salamander if injected with iodine. There were two Mexican lakes where the axolotls are found, Lake Chalco and Lake Xochimilco. A group of six were found by Auguste Duméril in the 19th century and almost all specimens today are descended from those six.
- Tangent: Axolotls are popular pets in Japan, since they can heal without scarring. If you cut off its arm, it can grow it back.
- Tangent: Samuel Beckett drove André the Giant to school. André had a growth problem which couldn't be stopped.
- General Ignorance
- Tangent: During the stage of the Tour de France that Hugh did, the leader of the race, Alexander Vinokourov was kicked out of the race that night for blood doping.
Episode 6 "Fakes, Frauds & Fakirs "
- Broadcast date
- Recording date
- Panellists
- Buzzers
The panel's first task of the show is to identify what is making their buzzer noise:
- Sean – The Superb Lyrebird mimicking a chainsaw
- Jimmy – The Superb Lyrebird mimicking a camera shutter
- Marcus – The Superb Lyrebird mimicking a car alarm
- Alan – A telephone ringing
- Theme
- As part of the theme, each of the panellists began the show by holding up a mask (of one of the other three) over their face.
- Topics
- Jimmy, Marcus and Sean's buzzers are all vocalisations made by the Australian Superb Lyrebird, an animal which can mimic almost any noise. (Forfeits: camera, car alarm) But Alan's telephone sound really is a telephone (forfeit: lyrebird).
- Pig-face ladies were actually a drunken and shaved bear in a dress. Pig-faced ladies were used in freak shows in the 19th century.
- Tangent: Water softens your facial hair better than shaving foam.
- Tangent: A story of a bearded lady who wanted to marry a contortionist but the contortionist did not want to marry a lady with a beard, but if she shaved they would lose their main source of income. In the end the woman shaved off her beard and got lots of tattoos, becoming the first tattooed lady.
- Tangent: Samuel Gumpertz, the most famous freak show owner on Coney Island. His freaks included Ursa the Bear Girl, Bonita the Irish Fat Midget, Lionel the Dog-Faced Boy and Schrief Afendl the Human Salamander. According to legend, salamanders can survive a fire.
- Tangent: Arthur Furguson was a similar con man. He tricked an American tourist into buying Nelson's Column for £6,000. He also pretended to sell the Eiffel Tower for scrap to an American and the White House in Washington DC. He eventually got rumbled when he tried to sell the Statue of Liberty to an Australian.
- Tangent: In 2008, unemployed bankrupt lorry driver Tony Lee conned businessmen Terry Collins and Marcel Boekhoorn out of £1 Million into thinking they were buying the Ritz Hotel.
- The Eiffel Tower was planned as a temporary structure.
- In Miami in 1950, the women in charge of collecting the money from telephone exchanges discovered that as long as they had not put the money in the counting machines that were inside the suitcases, they could steal the money and the telephone company would have no idea how much money was taken, and they hid their money in their bras. Hundreds of thousands of dollars worth of loose change was stolen by these women.
- Tangent: Alan's favourite tabloid report about a Page Three girl who was happy that Saddam Hussein had been captured.
- The only real trick to being a sword swallower is being able to control your gag reflex. According to the Society of Sword Swallowers, a professional must swallow a sword that is no longer than 61cm, but no shorter than 40 cm, otherwise it's not recognised. The most common medical complaint from sword swallowers is sore throats.
- Tangent: Sword swallowing has been practised for over 4,000 years.
- Tangent: Sean claims that he gags when putting in contact lenses. He also jokingly claims that if you pull the tail of a Pekingese dog, it's eyes pop out.
- General Ignorance
- Tangent:Because there were so many buildings and shops on Old London Bridge, it was quicker to cross the river by ferry than crossing the bridge.
- If you went to the shops to buy butter but could not find any, you cannot buy (forfeit margarine) to replace it, because it is not sold in Britain. The UK Spreads Association claim that there is currently no margarine on sale in Britain.
- Tangent: Margarine is white in colour and is between 80 and 90% fat.
- Tangent: In the United States, dairy lobbies tried to prevent margarine going on sale. In New Hampshire where the lobby was very powerful, they insisted that margarine should be coloured red to stop people from buying it.
- There are 613 commandments in the Bible (forfeits: 10; 9; 8). There are in fact 14 different commandments mentioned in Exodus and Deuteronomy. If all of the other commandments listed in the Bible were included, there would be 613. The main reason why it's believed that there are 10 is because that some of the commandments are divided.
- Tangent: Less well known commandments include: "You shall not suffer a witch to live" (this is a mistranslation and should be corrected), "You shall never vex a stranger" and "Whosoever lies with a beast shall be surely put to death".
- Tangent: Stephen tells a joke about the 10 commandments in which an angel is sent to Earth. The French do not want them as it forbids adultery, the Germans don't want them as it forbids killing and the Italians don't want them as they forbids stealing. When the angel gets to the Jews they ask how much the Commandments are, the angel replies free, so the Jew says I'll take 10.
- Tangent: Sean argues that the commandment "Thou shall not kill" should be the most important.
- When a coin is flipped there is a 51% chance it will land on the side that was facing upwards at the start (forfeit: 50/50) because coins obey the laws of mechanics and its flight is determined by their initial conditions.
- QI XL Extras
- Tangent: Parrots, Myna birds, and drongos are other examples of talking birds.
- Tangent: The reason why the word "Drongo" is an insult in Australia comes from a 1920s racehorse which lost almost every race it entered.
- Tangent: The most number of words spoken by a single bird is 1,728, by a budgerigar called Puck in 1995.
- Tangent: "Snake oil" is made from Chinese water snakes and used by Chinese immigrants to the United States.
- Tangent: Lydia E. Pinkham's Vegetable Compound which was popular in the US during prohibition.
- Raspberry jam was popular in between the 19th and early 20th centuries, but as it was expensive fake jams were made. Rhubarb and sweetened turnips made the best fake jams and fake wooden pips were made in order to make the jam look more realistic. The trade was so successful, that making the pips were a profitable trade and factories were opened to make them. Sylvia Pankhurst, a social reformer and leader of the suffragette movement, was so shocked by the treatment of women in these factories that she set up her own factory making real jam during World War I.
- Tangent: In America, "Jam" is referred to as "Jelly".
- Tangent: When monkeys were used in adverts such as the PG Tips adverts, peanut butter was put onto the roofs of the monkeys' mouths for the voice actors.
- When Archimedes discovered his theory of water displacement, the King of Syracuse used it to identify tainted tiaras that weren't made of gold.
- Barnum statements, which are general statements used by psychics and mediums. They are also known as Forer questions, named after psychologist Bertram R. Forer, who gave his students a questionnaire of such questions. All the responses were the same.
- Tangent: Barnum statements include "rainbow statements", "vanishing negative" and the "escape hatch".
- Tangent: Tartary is a region in the Far East near Mongolia, inhabited by the Tatars.
Episode 7 "Fingers & Fumbs"
- Broadcast date
- Recording date
- Panellists
- Buzzers
- Theme
- Anyone who said the "f-word" on the show would forfeit 10 points, but they could get five back if they beat Stephen on a game of rock-paper-scissors. However, if they lost to Stephen, they would be forfeited another 10 points. This episode was recorded before the infamous Jonathan Ross/Russell Brand Sachsgate incident, but broadcast after it. Therefore, this was entirely taken out of the original 30-minute show, and all references in the XL version were bleeped out.
- Topics
- Fargling is the American version of Rock, Paper, Scissors. According to the New Scientist, the best opening move in Rock, Paper, Scissors is scissors, because many believe that rock is the most common opener, so they pick paper.
- Tangent: Jo says that the best person to play fargling with is a Saudi shoplifter, because cutting off limbs is a common form of punishment in Saudi Arabia. This leads to the panel talking about playing against Abu Hamza.
- The panellists are asked to put their pencils in their mouths. Phill and Dara are asked to put them between their teeth and Jo and Alan are asked to put them between their lips. They are then asked if "Quack" or "Moo" is funnier. The answer is "quack" because saying a word with a letter "k" in it forces you to smile. This is due to facial feedback.
- Tangent: The use of pencils in the panellists' mouthes leads Phill to suggest that Stephen would prefer them to wear ball gags, and goes on to suggest Stephen is a fetishist.
- A duck's quack can echo (forfeit: it doesn't echo). This was proven by a man at The University of Salford, who put a duck in a reverberation chamber.
- The number of times you have to kiss a French person depends on which area of France you are in. In central or southern France they greet by kissing each other on the cheek twice and in the north they kiss four times.
- Tangent: In Belgium and Holland, they kiss three times and in Corsica they kiss five times. In Spain, you have to the kiss the person on the right cheek first.
- Tangent: In 1819, a German travel guide to London says that the kiss of friendship between men is strictly avoided in Britain as inclining towards the sin regarded in England as more abominable than any other.
- The Thorny Devil, an antipodean lizard can take in water from any part of their body. The water doesn't just absorb through the skin, it goes through grooves and capillaries.
- Tangent: The Thorny Devil can walk on alternating feet.
- Tangent: Elvis wore nappies in his final days.
- Physiognomy was a way of telling character from facial expressions, which was dictated by Aristotle. There was also the famous phrenology head of Lorenzo Niles Fowler, which points out emotional and cognitive parts of the head.
- Each of the panellists are then given their phrenological descriptions:
- Alan – Curly hair signifies someone who is "dull of apprehension", soon angry and given to lying and mischief. The distance between the eyebrows signifies hard-hearted, envious, close and cunning, addicted to cruelty more than love.
- Dara – He who has a large full forehead and a little round with all, destitute of hair, or at least that has little on it is bold, malicious, high-spirited, full of choler, apt to transgress beyond bounds, yet of good wit and apprehensive.
- Phill – He whose hair grows thick on his temples and his brow is by nature, simple, vain, luxurious, lustful, credulous, clownish in his speech and conversation, double chin shows appeaseable disposition, a great supplanter and secret in all your actions.
- Jo – One whose hair is of reddish complexion is for the most part proud, deceitful, detracting, venerous and full of envy.
- Tangent: The Melbourne Gaol has Death masks of Ned Kelly among others.
- Tangent: In Macbeth, King Duncan famously said, "There's no art to find the mind's construction in the face."
- The Thatcher effect is an idea of face perception. It involves duplicating a picture of Margaret Thatcher and putting them both upside down. One of the pictures is unaltered, but the other has had the eyes and the mouth inverted, so when it returns to normal, it makes the face look deranged. This is an example of how when we see faces the right way up, we know where the derangements are, but when its upside down, it's harder to recognise. This was conceived by Peter Thompson at the University of York.
- Tangent: Jo claims that Lady Thatcher sounds like a device for removing pubic hair.
- Tangent: Pictures of Mars, a piece of toast and a sonogram are shown, supposedly images of Madonna, Marlene Dietrich and Jesus in each of them.
- General Ignorance
- You can tell the size of a person's hands by looking at a person's feet (forfeits: the size of his shoes; the size of his penis), because they are inproportionate in terms of size. Shoe sizes in Britain are measure in barleycorns, which is equal to a third of an inch.
- Tangent: Dara complains about not being able to get size 13 shoes.
- There are no muscles in your fingers, only tendons (forfeit: One). The nearest muscles are found in the hand and the forearm.
- Tangent: The ring finger shares a tendon with the middle finger.
- It's easier to frown than smile, because it takes 12 muscles to smile and only 11 to frown.
- Tangent: Alan complains about people who say "Cheer up!" to him when he's pensive.
- QI XL Extras
- Phill's fuck forfeit, Phill loses 10 points as he and Stephen both play scissors.
- Tangent: In India and Indonesia, they use animals to play Rock, Paper, Scissors. The animals are ant, human and elephant. Elephant beats human, human beats ant and ant beats elephant, in the same way Elephants are afraid of mice.
- Dara's fuck forfeit, Dara loses 10 points as he and Stephen both play scissors.
- Tangent: In America, only 1 kiss is given. In Spain, you always kiss the right cheek first.
- Tangent: Discussions about why there is so much oestrogen in the water supply, a part of the urethra, an Austrian-accented woman who can apparently tell breast sizes.
- Tangent: There is a part of the urethra that curves down before it gets back, so some urine gets trapped at times. This is why sometimes when you go to the toilet at night, once you get back into bed you want to go again. To solve the problem, pull the urethra down to release it (but not to far).
- Tangent: After Stephen tells Phill off for getting doth and dost wrong, Phill says it is somewhat pointless seeing as how he got a U grade in English literature and a C in English language.
- Phill's fuck forfeit, Phill loses 10 points as he and Stephen both play scissors. Alan says that Phill should be playing stone.
- Tangent: Stephen has a friend who studied at the University of York who always claimed that the city has the largest plastic-bottomed lake in Europe. He goes on to say how awful it would be if there was a larger plastic-bottomed lake in Europe.
- Phill's fuck forfeit, Phill loses only 5 points by playing scissors against paper.
- Tangent: Leonardo da Vinci painted a full set of eyebrows and eyelashes and were described by the art critic Giorgio Vasari as being very fine and even raved about them.
- Tangent: Marcel Duchamp famously painted a moustache and beard on the painting, which gave it the nickname "L.H.O.O.Q.", which means "She's got a hot arse" in French.
- Tangent: 90% of all the people who go to the Louvre in Paris go straight to the Mona Lisa and spend less than three minutes there before leaving.
- Tangent: The University of Amsterdam used emotion recognition software to analyse the emotions conveyed in her smile.
- King David, which Michelangelo's David is based on, used 200 foreskins as a dowry to marry the daughter of King Saul (forfeit: he made a catapult out of them). Saul, who was jealous of David, asked for a bride price to marry his daughter Michal, so he wanted a dowry of 100 foreskins from the Philistines, hoping that David would die in battle.
- Tangent: Stephen jokes that there was a rabbi who collected foreskins, had them dried out and made into a wallet- whenever you stroked the wallet it became a briefcase.
- General Ignorance
- Tangent: The word xylophone comes from the Greek word "xylos", meaning wood.
Episode 8 "Fashion"
- Broadcast date
- Recording date
- Panellists
- Buzzers
- Theme
- The panellists are challenged to create a catchphrase using 19th century catchphrases or catchphrases that they know of.
- Alan – "Has your mother sold her mangle?"
- Clive – "Who are you?" – pronounced as though it were one word
- Rich – "You're dumber than a bag of wet mice!"
- Reginald – "Do what you do best."
- Stephen – "I can come in any trousers I like!"
- Topics
- Tangent: Rich jokes about the origins of the Phillips Head Screw.
- Tangent: The abstinent Louis VII was told that to cure his illness, he needed to have sex, but his Queen could not be reached, so he died chaste rather than commit adultery.
- Tangent: The Simpsons refer to the Hundred Years' War as "Operation Speedy Resolution".
- Tangent: The conversation about the Duke of Wellington's trousers leads Stephen to make up his own catchphrase "I can come in any trousers I like".
- During World War II, a wartime shortage of clothing materials meant that:
-
- Turn-ups were banned.
- Tailors were told that they would go to prison if they intentionally sold long trousers.
- Boys under 12 had to wear shorts.
- Women couldn't wear stockings, so they drew seams on the backs of their legs, after staining their legs with gravy to make them look tanned.
- The Gömböc is the first man-made mono-monostatic object. That means it can self-right from whatever position it's in. It was invented by Péter Várkonyi and Gábor Domokos, who was in the audience. Domokos explained that if any of the edges were 1/100th of a millimetre out, it couldn't self-right itself. The idea of the mono-monostatic shape was first found in the shell of turtles.
- Tangent: The Gömböc is compared to the Weeble
- Tangent: Other Hungarian inventions include the Rubik's Cube and the ballpoint pen, made by László Bíró.
- The first fossil discovered was of a Megalosaurus, discovered by Robert Plot. The bone was originally believed to be either a thigh-bone of a Roman elephant or a race of giant humans. The shape of the fossil was looked like a pair of testicles, so it was dubbed "Scrotum humanum".
- Tangent: The history of the planet in relation to the calendar.
- Tangent: "Saurus" was Ancient Greek slang for penis, because saurus means lizard and that was how they described their penis.
- Tangent: Thesaurus means "treasure house".
- General Ignorance
- Tangent: Reg talks about his dislike for Marmite.
- A nicotine stain is colourless (forfeits: yellow, brown), odourless, invisible and untraceable. It's named after Jean Nicot.
- Tangent: Nic O'Tine, the cigarette devil.
- The dictator who definitely only had one ball was Chairman Mao (forfeits: Pol Pot; Stalin). There is no justification that Adolf Hitler had only one testicle. (Although following the recording of this episode, it was discovered that Adolf Hitler really did have one ball)
- Tangent: Having one testicle is referred to as monorchism, from the Greek for testicle which later evolved into the english word 'orchid'.
- Tangent: In the memoirs of Mao's doctor, Mao was infertile, had herpes, never brushed his teeth, instead rinsing them with tea which turned them green, he also slept on a wooden bed.
- QI XL Extras
- Tangent: Songs sung by fans of Norwich City F.C.
- The Guinness Book of Records has an entry for "Worst Engagement Faux Pas". It was done by James Gordon Bennett, Jr., from where the expression, Gordon Bennett! comes from. He was engaged to a young New York socialite and got drunk and went to his fiancée's house, where there was a party full of stiff New York socialites and he urinated in the fireplace, thinking it was a toilet and walked out again. The engagement was called off and the brother of his fiancée challenged him to a duel.
- Tangent: His father, James Gordon Bennett, Sr., was a newspaper magnate.
- Tangent: Another faux pas was when the Queen was with the monarch of another country in the royal coach. One of the horsees farted and the Queen apologised. The other monarch said "Never mind Ma'am, I thought it was the horse.
- Tangent: Bennett once tipped a railway porter £341,000, because he found having huge amounts of cash on him uncomfortable.
- Tangent: Gerald Ratner's famous faux pas in a speech to the Institute of Directors.
- Tangent: Wigs in the British court system are only now used in criminal courts.
- Tangent: Barristers robes are black because Queen Anne died as they were about to change the colour, the court changed them black as it went into mourning and they never changed it.
- Tangent: Reginald tells about a story he was told about a Briton wearing corduroy.
- Tangent: Corduroy was restricted to royalty when it was first used. It's derived from the French "corde du roi", meaning "cord of the king".
- An example of a living fossil is the Lomatia tasmanica, or the "King's Holly", which is 43,600 years old. A genetically identical fossil that is near it is a Pleistocene, which is millions of years old. Because of their longevity it's possible that they hold the secret to "eternal life".
- Tangent: The term "living fossil" was what Charles Darwin used to describe the duck-billed platypus and later crocodiles and coelacanths. It means that they aren't identical to their fossil predecessors.
- Tangent: Ginkgo biloba is another living fossil, which is used by herbalists as a memory enhancer.
- The reason why many people think there are Martian canals is because an astronomer called Giovanni Schiaparelli claimed to have seen a lot of long straight lines on Mars, which he named "canali" and named them after rivers on Earth. Years later Percival Lowell drew maps of the planet based looking through his telescope, but they actually came from his head. It turned out they both had a condition known as Lowell's syndrome, in which blood vessels and the nodes where they meet seem to become straight lines.
- Tangent: Lowell also had an the Lowell Observatory named after him, as well as the "planet" Pluto.
- General Ignorance
- The macaroni, as mentioned in the song, Yankee Doodle, was another name for a dandy. The song was written by a British person, who claimed that the Yanks were dumb and showed that if you take someone that is supposed to be an insult, you throw it back in the oppressor's face.
Episode 9 "The Future"
- Broadcast date
- Recording date
- Panellists
- Buzzers
- Theme
- All panellists wore a silver sash. The set was decorated with rockets and the gap around the "i" in the QI magnifying glass was covered with flashing lights.
- Topics
- You are always doing something (forfeit: nothing), because there is no such thing as nothing.
- Tangent: Ben explains the elementary particles that are created and annihilated in the vacuum of space.
- Tangent: Scientists are currently looking to find the Higgs boson in the Higgs field, using the Large Hadron Collider at CERN in Switzerland.
- Tangent: There are four known forces – gravity, electromagnetism, the nuclear strong force, which holds nuclei together and the nuclear weak force, which causes radioactivity.
- Tangent: There is a theory that all matter has its corresponding antimatter.
- According to the laws of physics, nothing forbids time travel and that time travel could be initiated by the Large Hadron Collider, because like telephones, you need a time machine at both ends, otherwise it wouldn't work.
- Tangent: The Grandfather Paradox
- Tangent: Ben visited the LHC 2 weeks before the recording of the show. Sean claims that his objection to this level of physics is that the average person cannot understand it. Stephen gives a similar example in the form of Michael Faraday, who pioneered studies into electricity. However, when Faraday talked about it, it sounded like nonsense to people. It was only when machines developed that could utilize electricity, people were able to understand it better.
- Questions about people who tried to predict the future, but were "hopelessly wrong":
- Tangent: A discussion about why kids always talk about having hoverboots.
- Tangent: Rob does his impersonation of Ronnie Corbett
- In the 1940s, during World War II, the Nazi machines, the Doodlebug and the V-2 were officially described as "robots", rather than machines and the British Authorities were terrified of discussing it in public.
- Tangent: The word "robot" is a Slavic word that meant a "slave worker" and was devised by Karel Čapek, who wrote the 1920 play, R.U.R. (Rossum's Universal Robots).
- Tangent: Rob and Ben admit to liking each other, which leads to QI's first gay kiss.
- The language of the future is expected to be Panglish, otherwise known as Pan English. 80% of people who speak English don't speak it as their first language. A popular language based on this currently is Singlish, a mixture of English, Chinese and Malay, the Singaporean equivalent of Franglais.
- Tangent: In Singlish, "Layleo" means "radio", "Lolex" means "Rolex" and "Orleng tzu" means "orange juice".
- Tangent: Esperanto, a constructed language has only 900 words, no irregular verbs and takes a year less to learn fluently than any other language.
- General Ignorance
- The distance of the horizon is worked out by using the formula (with d being distance in miles and h being height in feet):
-
- This normally means, when standing at sea level, the horizon is roughly 3 miles (4.8 km) away from you.
- Fog kills more people than any other type of weather (forfeits: wind, snow, hail), due mainly to traffic accidents. The difference between fog and mist is that fog is denser.
- Tangent: Smog is the urban phenomenon of smoke, fog and sulphur dioxide mixing together. The last bad smog in 1952 killed 12,000 people during a 4-day spell. This caused the Clean Air Act to be introduced.
- Tangent: In Hawaii, instead of fog and smog, they have vog, which is volcanic fog.
- QI XL Extras
- Tangent: There are over 10,000 time capsules around the world, but most of them have been lost, the International Time Capsule Society urge people burying them to contact and register them.
- Tangent: A time capsule on Voyager 1, which contained the binary information on a record.
- Tangent: A discussion about stripping old wallpaper and finding things put on by previous owners of houses. It was also common for a barrel of beer to be buried under the cement in house that had stoops or stairs.
- Tangent: According to the equivalence principle, there have to be aliens. Ben talks about the Fermi paradox, by Enrico Fermi, which describes the whereabouts of all alien life.
- Tangent: Ben discusses Einstein's General Theory of Relativity, and gives the example that if you were to travel in a spaceship near to the speed of light, it could take only one minute for you, while on Earth, four years could pass.
- Tangent: Sean says that he has trouble understanding electricity and understanding how telephones work. Ben then explains how they work, but Sean still does not understand.
- A building called the Corn Market in Windsor, built by Sir Christopher Wren had four pillars in it, because bureaucrats refused to have them removed (forfeit: to hold the roof up; to stop the roof from falling). Wren deliberately put a gap between the roof and the pillar as proof that weren't needed.
- Tangent: Rob claims that he had similar support problems when his house extension was built. The extension fell down.
- Tangent: When he was in Singapore in 1988, Alan was asked by a local, "You Lick Astrey?.
- Tangent: While Rob often complains that language should not change, he is aware that it has to. Stephen moans about people who attack other people's language, such as people using the words fewer and less incorrectly. Alan attacks him by saying that Stephen has complained that Alan has used the words fewer and less incorrectly on no fewer than three occasions.
- Tangent: In Welsh mini golf is known as "golf mini".
- Tangent: The invented Klingon language, devised by Marc Okrand
- General Ignorance
- Between 2000 and 2005, 0% of Guyana's rainforest was cut down, because every tree pulled down is immediately replaced with a new one.
- Tangent: Guyana is also the only South American country with a cricket team.
Episode 10 "Flora & Fauna"
- Broadcast date
- Recording date
- Panellists
- Alan Davies (−18 points)
- Jo Brand (−27 points) 21st appearance
- Jimmy Carr (Technical winner with −1 point) 11th appearance
- John Sergeant (−4 points) 1st and only appearance
- The Audience (Winners with 10 points)
- Buzzers
- John – A lion
- Jimmy – A wolf
- Jo – An elephant
- Alan – A cat and dog fighting each other
- Theme
- Topics
- The camellia was made famous in the novel, La Dame aux camélias by Alexandre Dumas, fils, the bastard son of Alexandre Dumas, père the author of The Three Musketeers. In the book, the heroine, Marguerite Gautier, wore a white camellia for 25 days of the month and a red one for 5 days of the month. signifying that she was "not available". The book caused a huge uproar in 19th century France and made the camellia an overnight garden sensation. The novel later became a play and an opera by Verdi, La traviata.
- Flea circuses do exist and are not a myth, the fleas were tortured and were placed on the ringmaster's arm, because they fed on his blood. Among the acts were the fleas being glued to musical instruments, with the floor being heated, so it seemed like they were playing them..
- Tangent: Flea circuses were mainly popular during the 1920s and 30s before dying out in the 1960s.
- Tangent: Alan reveals the time when he had some fleas in his house.
- Tangent: A flea's back legs are very powerful. If a human had as powerful legs, they could jump over the Eiffel Tower.
- Tangent: John tells an old joke. "How do you build a flea circus? You have to start from scratch".
- Tangent: Stephen brings up the notion that Jo and John might be related.
- Tangent: There are 1,270 species of killifish.
- Flamingos stand on one leg so they can go to sleep. Whichever leg is raised, that half of the flamingo goes to sleep in a torpid state, which lowers the blood flow. When they've had enough sleep, they swap the legs over.
- The reason that flamingos are pink is because they eat blue-green algae, which is full of keratinoids (forfeit: because they eat prawns). In zoos they give the flamingos supplements to make them pink. They can drink boiling water, because they live near to geysers.
- The Natterjack Toads, when sexually excited, they leap on anything if it's male or female, but if it's a male, the toad that it's leapt on will make a noise, meaning that it wants the toad to get off.
- Tangent: There is no definitive difference between a frog and a toad, but toads live drier lives and have drier skin.
- Tangent: 20 tonnes of toad die in road accidents each year. They are being limited by the construction of toad tunnels. The reason why so many are killed is because their mating ponds are near roads.
- Tangent: In 2005 in Hamburg, toads expanded to three times their normal size and exploded.
- Tangent: Ferrets are the third most popular pet in United States after cats and dogs.
- Tangent: It's unclear if there was a sport where ferrets were put up people's trousers (ferret legging), but it has since been created. They are also used in pet therapy, because they are friendly and interacting with them reduces stress hormone, they help the elderly, depressed and children recovering from severe illnesses.
- General Ignorance
- Tangent: Tie silk is made from the silkworms that live on White Mulberrys in China.
- Tangent: The trail of slime that slugs leave behind gets eaten up and is used as an act of foreplay. There are 37,000 species of gastropod, which is the largest after insects.
- A mushroom is neither a plant or an animal (forfeits: plant; animal), but it's more closely related to an animal.
- QI XL Extras
- Tangent: If a human did make the jump they'd probably die when they landed, due to the force of the impact. Fleas also have two penises, one of which serves as a helping aid. Medieval representations of Satan depict him with 2 penises.
- "Naïvety" is a zoological term referring to animals that have been moved to an ecosphere that it has not been prepared for. An example of this is the dodo when it was brought to Bermuda.
- Tangent: Alan tells the story of a boy at his school who caught frogs and skinned them before letting them go.
- Tangent: It is believed that it had rained toads and Jo claimed that it rained fish in Knighton, Powys, Wales.
- Tangent: The panel tell some silly jokes.
- A fairy ring is a ring of mushrooms. They grow round trees and when they retreat, they leave a ring of discoloured grass.
- Tangent: Myths about fairy rings include: if a young lady goes into a fairy ring on a May Day morning and washes her face with the dew of the grass, she will turn into a hag. They're also claimed to create time vortexes.
- Tangent: Body lice, which only live in clothing, are only 70,000 years old, which means that humans first wore clothing 70,000 years ago. Human fleas are also dying out because of vacuum cleaners.
- Tangent: John talks about flea circuses again. Only human fleas were used and they are noe in danger of becoming extinct.
- Tangent: The panda is the symbol of the World Wildlife Fund. As a result, a disproportionate amount of the money it receives goes to saving pandas compared to other endangered animals.
- General Ignorance
- Tangent: The botanist Joseph Banks, after who Botany Bay is named, described in his diary that "everybody commended them (the albatross steaks) and everyone ate heartily of them, though there was fresh pork on the table."
- Tangent: Young Albatrosses can stay in the air for 10 years without landing.
Episode 11 "Film"
- Broadcast date
- Recording date
- Panellists
- Buzzers
- Theme
- The set is decorated with two large Oscar type statuettes (with shields instead of swords) two very large BAFTA type face masks, metal railings and a red carpet.
- Topics
- Jean Auguste Dominique Ingres, who was a talented painter and violinist, comes the term "Ingres' Violin", which means someone doing something they're not famous but doing it just as well, in Ingres' case he was a good violinist as well as a good painter. There is a painting relating to this, "Violon d'Ingres", by Man Ray.
- The Oscar statue was created by Cedric Gibbons. He himself won 11 of them as art director, as well as being nominated for 36 in total.
- Tangent: Walt Disney won the most Oscars, with 26. When Snow White and the Seven Dwarfs won an Oscar, Disney was given one big statuette and seven small ones.
- Tangent: Stephen made an Oscar statue at the factory in Chicago. They're made of britannium and you have to buff it out, then they're dipped in nickel, then in gold.
- Tangent: Emma's Oscar record, and the time Stephen helped save her script for Sense and Sensibility.
- Tangent: John claims that the best kind of villain is to get an Englishman to play a German villain, like Alan Rickman in Die Hard. John then does an Alan Rickman impersonation. John claims that Alan Rickman can talk without his lips touching his teeth.
- Tangent: Stephen's friend's encounter with Christopher Plummer.
- Tangent: There is a room in the Vatican which contains some chipped off penises.
- Cheese mites, caused an outrage to cheese producers in the early 20th century, but it boosted the sales of cheap microscopes, as people became fascinated with what was inside their food.
- Tangent: Emma's father, Eric Thompson narrated a film about the small things that live in things such as hair and mattresses.
- Tangent: The discussion about the advert that claims that there is more bacteria on chopping boards than toilet seats.
- Tangent: It is now almost universally accepted pink shape behind God in the ceiling of the Sistine Chapel is a transverse section of the sagittal area of the brain. Michelangelo would have seen an illegal dissection of the brain and tried to put it in the painting, as he believed it was one of God's greatest achievements.
- Tangent: A museum in Oregon is dedicated to replications of the brain made of fabrics.
- General Ignorance
- A hedgehog doesn't die if its fleas are removed (forfeit: it dies).
- Tangent: You shouldn't give a hedgehog bread or milk, because they get diarrhoea and dry out.
- William Shakespeare mentions 'cricket' three times (forfeit: never) during the 1550s – but it's the insect cricket, rather than the sport, although the latter did exist. (These last two questions were claimed to be true on David Mitchell's BBC Radio 4 show, "The Unbelievable Truth", but here they are revealed as false.)
- Head lice don't mind what type of hair they're on as long as there is an adequate blood supply (forfeit: clean).
- Tangent: Nits are the egg-cases of the louse, which can take weeks to get rid of.
- A flu jab works by giving you an inactive virus that helps the antibodies beat off flu (forfeit: by giving you 'flu).
- QI XL Extras
- The Wilhelm scream, which has been used in over 140 films. Sound recordist Ben Burtt uses it as many times as possible in the films he works on. The man doing the scream is called Sheb Wooley, who first used it on the film Distant Drums in 1951.
- Tangent: The most ubiquitous line of film dialogue in a survey of 150 films between 1938 and 1974 was "Let's get outta here!"
- Tangent: Even while playing Robin Hood, Errol Flynn seems to maintain his American accent.
- Tangent: According to John, Alan Rickman hates being good at playing villains. In Emma's version of "Sense and Sensiblity" he played Colonel Brandon. Rickman was at a party once, and a child once said to him, "Alan? Why do you always play villains?" Alan said, "I don't play villains, I play very interesting people".
- Tangent: Stories about the 1999 solar eclipse in Cornwall.
- Englishmen whose surname begins with a double-"f" at the front is probably accidental, because in the 18th century, the way a capital "f" was handwritten meant it looked like it a double-"f".
- Florence Foster Jenkins, who was so rich she rented out Carnegie Hall for recitals, sang at Carnegie Hall at the age of 76 and sold out weeks in advance, with 2,000 people were turned away at the door.
- Tangent: Cole Porter became so enamoured of her that he wrote a song for her.
- Tangent: Emma tells the myth about John Ruskin's sex life with his wife Effie Gray.
- Tangent: Brazilian waxing.
- General Ignorance
- The most depressing day of the week is Wednesday (forfeit: Monday). People would say Monday, but if you asked the same people over a long period of time on each separate day, it becomes Wednesday.
- Tangent: There is a French joke which says that if you had a meeting with an Englishman on a Wednesday, it would screw up two weekends of his, because the French think the British are lazy.
- Luvvie Alarm: The first citation of the word "luvvie" in the Oxford English Dictionary was made by Stephen in the 1980s.
Episode 12 "Food"
- Broadcast date
- Recording date
- Panellists
- Buzzers
- David – A tea bell
- Jimmy – A gong
- Rich – A church bell
- Alan – A countdown timer, a kitchen alarm, an explosion and a doorbell
- Theme
- During the first part of the episode, the panellists are asked to put which areas of taste go where on a mini tongue map that they've each been given. Officially there is no such thing as a tongue map, but the official given map from back to front is bitter, sour, salty and sweet, but since then umami, the savouriness has been discovered.
- Topics
- The stone crab is a local delicacy in Florida. If its claws are snapped off, they can regenerate within a year.
- Tangent: It's believed that certain tribesmen in the Masai Mara area of Kenya and northern Tanzania mix cattle blood with milk
- Tangent: Discussion about bloating, constipation and farting on television.
- An oyster can be taught how to keep closed for long periods of time. When oysters are out of water they stay fresh as long as they stay shut. This was achieved by hitting them with a metal rod, which made them close for long periods of time.
- Tangent: Colonists discovering Oysters when they first arrived in the area around where New York City is now.
- Tangent: The Mounties, or the Royal Canadian Mounted Police are the official police force in Canada.
- Tangent: David says that using mounted police has it's disadvantages - for example going on a drug bust in a small flat. He compare it to policing with Daleks. Jimmy says that now there is so much disability access, the Daleks would cope, leading David to point out that Jimmy is suggesting that disabled access is a Dalek conspiracy.
- Tangent: The fruit machine was eventually replaced with the plethysmograph. The male version was a sort of cock ring, while the female version is a sort of dildo used to measure lubrication. It was used up until the 1980s.
- Tangent: Until the 19th century, all French meals were brought out in one go.
- Tangent: Escoffier invented frog legs, which Alan found out on David's radio show, The Unbelievable Truth. David also wrote a page about Escoffier for the QI Annual.
- Tangent: Escoffier:
- General Ignorance
- There are only two known poisonous snakes, the Japanese Grass Snake, which becomes poisonous by eating toxic toads and the Common Garter Snake, which eats a poisonous rough-skinned newt, both of which only kill by being eaten (forfeit: Piers Morgan). A Snake that injects venom into its victims blood is a venomous snake.
- There is no food that you shouldn't eat before bedtime (forfeit: cheese). The idea that cheese gives you bad dreams was debunked in 2005 by a study by the British Cheese Board. There is an amino acid in cheese, and all other dairy products, called Tryptophan, which helps you sleep.
- The phrase "Let them eat cake" has an unknown origin (forfeits: Mr Kipling, Marie Antoinette), Marie Antoinette was most likely quoting it. She was born in 1755 and was first seen in print by Jean-Jacques Rousseau in 1740.
- According to a survey by the American Civil Liberties Union, 70% of the Internet is spam (forfeit: porn). Less than 1% is porn and up to 89% of e-mail traffic is spam.
- QI XL Extras
- Tangent: Tapeworm pills were a popular dieting method in the early 20th century.
- Tangent: Alan's that his great-uncle was in the Mounties and had his leg blown off in World War I.
- Tangent: Before going on stage, Nellie Melba believed it was good to have oral sex to improve your voice.
- Tangent: Mae West famously said of all-in wrestling that "if it's all-in, why wrestle?"
- Tangent: Having gum disease doubles your chance of having coronary artery disease. A lot of diseases in the heart are actually infections.
- Tangent: Rich reveals the way a man escaped jail in Mexico, as seen on MythBusters. He wiped salsa on the bars for six years, which made the acid corrode the steel and a current was run through it.
- The "Miracle of the Herrings", which gave Thomas Aquinas sainthood. He was ineligible as he hadn't performed a miracle, but on his deathbed he was claimed to say "I fancy a herring" and some pilchards were brought instead. He said they were the best herrings he'd ever had, which the Catholic Church interpreted as a miracle by saying that the pilchards had turned to herrings in his mouth.
- Tangent: Currently, they are trying to fast track the sainthoods to Padre Pio (who became a Saint in 2002) and Mother Teresa.
- Tangent: Discussion about the Feeding of the 5,000.
- Tangent: Stephen tells a story of a famous French restauranter who used to say to women "Can I smell your pussy?". When the women said no, he replied, "Oh, it must be your feet then".
- General Ignorance
- Tangent: David rants about headlines incorporating crap jokes
- Tangent: It was believed that the Romantics used to eat off meat to give themselves crazy dreams. Byron once wrote a poem on a toilet wall, about having a "good stool", which included an example of a pathetic fallacy.
Notes
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